Phil 'N Paul Bingo

And from the last stage into Paris:

"As they ride past the tomb of the unknown shoulder."
"This Tour will simply will not lie down."
"Jens Voigt: the oldest rider in the peloton." (Also used 3-4 times every day throughout the past three weeks.)

Sortantly Sean Kelly have made de calculation but - nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn - he may have to pay de proice.

Still beats Sherwin and Shithead hands-down though.

"He's shown them a clean pair of wheels"

Still, they're much better than the banal insanity of Carlton Kirkby on Eurosport. He's beyond Alan Partridge.

"He's literally turning himself inside out."

I've heard Tinko Saxoff mentioned a few times. I prefer Carlton and Sean too, at least Carlton gets excited for the right reasons, and not just at random intervals

'Traffic circles'

Today we were transported back a few years when Jan Bakelants was described as riding for "Omega-Pharma Lotto" and on nearly every stage they have also referred to OPQS as "Omega-Pharma QuickStop".
Oh and "Stephen-sorry Nicolas-Roche is on the front" (although they did refer to him as Laurence on another occasion -Nico's uncle).

I have heard Phil call Bauke Mollema 'Bob Malka' - that was a favourite.

'The elastic's snapped'

Did I really hear Paul Sherwin suggesting that Bernie Eisel was a good bet to win a sprint finish a few days ago?

"In the month of July"
"Traffic circles"
"Just so you're not confused, he's not smiling, he's actually grimacing!"
"Rafael Maj-ka"

Following on from an excellent recce by Chris Boardman in which he explained how melt water from a glacier was causing water to leak onto the roads: Phil "The tar's melting!!"

There's a pile up ... frank schlock is on the floor

He's such a fantastic bike handler.

A few days ago they called the current polka-dot wearer Majkcek, which sounded like Mike Check.

Also:
"All these roundabouts will help the breakaway riders of course"
"On this descent he'll be approaching speeds of around 100km/h" (always the same number regardless of rider's actual speed)
"By the look on his face he's really starting to suffer" (moments after "he's looking so strong today, I think he might just take this stage")

And of course, the perennial classic:
"This is a man who just loves to ride his bike" (about anyone)

The new one I love to hate:
Pinot has shown no respect to the established riders

ES all the way for me. Much prefer Carlton & Sean.

Need to be in the first 15 or 20 places
Off the front or at the back
Able to turn them inside out for their team leader
Flat across the road indicating that the peloton is not turning the pedals in anger
Long stretched out line indicating that x team is trying to chase down the breakaway for their sprinter