How's your day going? Probably better than the guy who cycled through wet paint (+ worst things we've ridden through); Northern Irish police or Team Sky?; Toon Aerts' pre-World Champs' test positive for breast cancer drug + more on the live blog

Farmers use irrigating sprayers for crops. One of these had e developed a fault and was depositing a field’s worth of water onto the 5sqM of road I needed to cycle on. Soaked to the skin with dirty ditch water. Upside, the seat next to me on the train remained free to London,

— RobbieC...🚴‍♂️🌊☔️🚉 (@dahontr3) February 16, 2022

Let's start with hub-deep cow shit...because where else would we start...

"For me the worst was having to ride through hub-deep (no exaggeration!) cow shit on an MTB ride in Derbyshire many years ago. It was a route I had used several times, and the bridlepath goes through a farm yard between some cow sheds. It was often muddy or slippery with cow shit, but this time I reckon the farmer must've recently scraped/hosed all of the cow shit out of the sheds and deposited it in the yard. It was horrendous!" Dicklexic recalled.

Kapelmuur said: "I rode over a snake in France, it didn't make much of a mess and it may have already been dead. I didn't hang around to check. I guess this story doesn't have legs."

andystow was awarded the most middle class comment of the day award by another reader: "I didn't ride through it, but on a multi-day gravel bikepacking trip I had a little unplanned dismount/lie down. When I got up, completely unhurt, I felt a cold wet mess on my back. The avocado in my back jersey pocket had become instant guacamole. Luckily I had a spare jersey to change into."

Drinfinity commented: "Frogspawn. Riding through a particularly deep water filled rut on a North Yorkshire moor. My partner was having a miserable ride till then (not a fan of deep ruts), but she was much more entertained after I did the international interpretive dance for 'my boot is full of frogspawn'"

Bawheid has all the gory details..."A weasel. Extruded through the front brake, put me on the floor. Washed off blood and bits of skin ( both) and flesh and entrails (his) in a public bog full of very wary tourists. Joy." Chrisonatrike stole the show with the "pop went the weasel" comment...10/10.

JustTryingToGet said: "Worst thing I've cycled through... the River Thames. Pure stupidity on my part, I'd come down to the meadow and it had flooded, by which point I couldn't be arsed to go back up the road. I thought I'd just take it slow as I knew where the path was. Three quarters of the way through and I thought, 'blimey, those benches look far away'... I reckon I was centimetres from the riverbank. I'll not pull a dickhead move like that again."

Add Chorley and Harringey to the list too... thanks to whoever suggested those on Twitter...

rotten sheep carcass that looked like a stepping stone…

— Christian Borrman (@chrisborrman) February 16, 2022

Well, that's an image to take you through to teatime... 

Here at road.cc we see a lot of expensive things: bikes, wheels, kit etc. You get the picture. There are a lot of people into bikes willing to spend plenty of cash on nice things...but what about a holiday as expensive as just about any bike you could wish for?

"Bike Across Europe" billed as an "epic adventure" from Paris to Estonia via a spin down the Champs-Élysées and aperitifs under the shadow of the Arc de Triomphe, before riding Germany, Luxembourg, Czech Republic, Poland, Lithuania and Latvia. 

Not your usual cycling holiday, but it does promise rolling vineyards, deep forests, medieval villages, historic cities, and runs for over a month between July 2 and August 6 2022. Let's hope you don't want to watch the Tour...

Thankfully the organisers had the self-awareness to miss out the "just" from their press release telling us prices start at $4,006 for eight or 15-day stages of the tour, through to $17,208 (£12,674.55) for the full thing. You could buy the most high-spec Specialized Aethos and have a grand left over for that...

Thankfully they're not pretentious enough to market as "cycling in the footsteps of Napoleon from Paris to the Russia border". Ah, right...scrap that...they have. Although, in fairness, part of the 'USP' seems to be visiting "unique historical itineraries"...so fair enough, I guess? Oh, and "quality lodging, fine gastronomy and cultural immersion". We get it, you want to enjoy yourselves...well, I guess you would if it's costing you...

So... anyone want to sponsor me?

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Egan Bernal (@eganbernal)

And showing off a pretty terrifying scar on his back too...

The reigning Giro d'Italia champion broke 20 bones in a horror crash while training in Colombia last month, and needed multiple rounds of surgery on his back injuries. After two weeks in intensive care, Bernal was discharged from hospital and is now recovering back at home, with the help of his many dogs...

Bernal was training with a group of his Ineos Grenadiers teammates when he crashed his Pinarello TT bike into a parked bus. The incident has led Tom Pidcock and Chris Froome to raise safety concerns about the bikes...

> Chris Froome calls for time trial bike ban in professional cycling

Talking of Pidcock, he's back racing on the road today for the first time since his 'cross season. Not a bad team for Ineos in Portugal...just a few of the young guns, eh? 

📢 Line-up news for Algarve 📢

We're ready for more racing! 💪@VoltAlgarve pic.twitter.com/aO9fJVzugz

— INEOS Grenadiers (@INEOSGrenadiers) February 15, 2022

A40 soaking ☔🌧️💦 I don't blame the lorries here, it's poor design. Narrow cycle path, bad drainage when it rains. People having to walk or cycle next to what is essentially a motorway. #cyclinglife @London_Cycling @EalingCouncil @EalingCyclists @LondonCycle3 pic.twitter.com/IkDY7fPkTz

— OliverJGildea (@ReviloAedlig) February 15, 2022

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the single greatest headline the internet has ever seen...

The drivers are it again.... 🤔#Driverbehaviour#Greatestthreatofharm https://t.co/m2L7ivbwOp

— Mark Hodson (@markandcharlie) February 15, 2022

Unbelievably, it's not even the best thing I've seen this morning...

pic.twitter.com/5CqwbxISbZ

— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) February 16, 2022

What's the worst thing (you've ridden through)? That's what, in full Partridge style, I'm asking this morning...inspired by the poor cyclist who rode through white paint...RIP black kit.

I mean, I did set myself up for this one...

What's the worst thing you've ridden through, road.cc reader 'the little onion'? "Keighley". Right. Fair enough. Never been, I'll take your word for it...Rendell Harris was thinking along the same lines, but gave a 'shout-out' to the Kent town of Erith...

OldRidgeback is still scarred from their pungent problem...

"As a kid out for a ride on my shiny new Puch many years ago I was so enjoying my cycle ride that I didn't notice the sticky wet dog mess on the ground. Luckily the mudguards stopped this from being sprayed all over my back but I did have to clean it off the brakes later on. And I didn't have access to a jet washer. That was a learning experience."

Shake said: "Cycled through wet tar, that stuff did not want to come off my bike."

SimoninSpalding has gone for "airborne, fermenting rabbit entrails". There's four words you never thought you'd read..."Afternoon of day two, riding the Way of the Roses, this fen-dwelling boy was thoroughly enjoying riding along the Vale of York (level ground at last!) when a long deceased lagomorph on the other side of the road was driven over by a car causing the rotten innards to be ejected across the road and sprayed up my legs and all over my bike.

"The only bright spot was that I smelt so bad that my riding companions insisted I sat at the back of the group so that they didn't have to smell me. The landlord of the guest house we stayed at that night gave me a bit of a look when I walked in though."

That's a story and a half...

It's a mild Wednesday morning. I reckon more than a few of you deserving winter commuters got caught out by the balmy February temperatures and found yourselves scrambling to remove layers at the lights.

You know what they always say though...better to have layers to remove, than layers covered in paint...(I am aware nobody has ever said that in the entire history of the English language, please don't leave too may angry comments)...

Idiot cyclist rides through wet paint, thinking it was dry. pic.twitter.com/keCCscIv9n

— Monsieur_Growl (@growl3d) February 15, 2022

That's one way to give your shoes that box-fresh glossy shine back...

Maybe someone has been out painting bike lanes again? Although, now I think about it, don't ask me why they would be painting them black...(EDIT: I've woken up enough to realise the paint is the flaky white spots...told you I hadn't done a blog for a while).

> Councillor who said she’d paint (now removed) bike lane black slams “ignorant” people who painted it back

Amusingly, when the Old Shoreham Road lane was removed last year, it quickly reappeared thanks to the handiwork of a mysterious infra vigilante.

The makeshift markings were painted where the lane used to be, and rattled good old Cllr Dawn Barnett, who furiously told local press the lines needed to be removed and those responsible prosecuted.

"Wait a second," one Twitter user said..."Can you confirm or deny if this furious councillor, is the same furious councillor who threatened to paint out the cycle lanes on Old Shoreham Road."

Can you confirm or deny if this furious councillor, is the same furious councillor who threatened to paint out the cycle lanes on Old Shoreham Road?https://t.co/T0JawIH4Mh

— Adam Bronkhorst (@AdamBronkhorst) November 5, 2021

Wonderful.

To bring it back to the poor lad who did ride through paint (and to channel my inner Partridge)...what's the worst thing you've ridden through? Paint? Leaking sewage? *insert poorly infrastructured town*? A puddle you didn't think was that deep? Worse?

I can't imagine Dulux does much for your drivetrain...