We've got a new anti-cycling ranter to bring you this Friday... introducing... former England striker and Premier League journeyman... Peter Crouch...
The retired footballer, famous for his distinctive build and robot goal celebration, has turned into something of a media personality since hanging up his boots, regularly appearing on TV and podcasts. We can't say we've listened to it before... but the most recent episode of his own podcast, 'The Therapy Crouch', involved his wife listening, apparently fairly baffled by his disgust, while he launched into a minute-long rant about cyclists...
Crouch was clinical in front of goal early on, tapping in some of the old favourites with ease... "I do have an issue with the cyclist thing... you don't have to be a knob... you don't have to run people over on the pavement... you don't have to go through red lights whenever you feel like it..."
"You don't have to be a knob" is sound life advice, to be fair, possibly for anyone podcasting to a major audience too, perhaps? Anyway, onwards...
"You don't have to do that one, and I know the law says to do it, the one where you double bike," he continued, referring to two-abreast road positioning. Faced with the first questions from his wife, Crouch says he sees it all the time when driving...
> Why do cyclists ride two abreast?
"They do it to me on a country lane and you go, just go [single file] for one second and then I'll get past you. But they go, 'no, no, it's the rules, they told us to do it'. Piss off... and they wear them [those] silly little cleats in coffee shops."
"God, I didn't know Pete had such a hatred of bikers," co-host and wife Abbey Clancy concludes, before one more bizarre rant about cyclists not ordering normal coffees, instead going for a "frothuccino with double oat milk". Material not too dissimilar from a certain Jacob Rees-Mogg's extraordinary milk-tasting segment on GB News this week...
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45 comments
All dressed up like they're in the UEFA Champions League! Who do they think they are, Harry Kane?
I've been saying this for ages. Cyclists are the only group you are allowed to vocally hate and most people go "oh yeah, for sure". Its astonishing.
I reckon it's all a teeny weeny bit tongue-in-cheek. At least I hope it is. Also, if "double-bikers" were deliberately blocking me on a section of road where it was safe to overtake, I'd be a little irritated too.
Did he get his teeth from Mr Ed?
Ingrained habit.
Everything they don't drive on is ours.
eg 2018
Look a how the parking the other side has now migrated onto the footway.
To be fair, they have a point. Very few cyclists use a car wash.
And it is nice to see the pavement parkers out in force, the greengrocer is obviously happy at the lack of access to those with mobility issues, the elderly or parents of young children.
Move the sign and water butt out into the main carriageway, I say
I'd just dump it on their land.
The sign is unreadable anyhow !
True.
I guess it's just another example of how blocking a cycle lane is normalised (even by people who no doubt complain about cyclists not using the cycle lane…). Can't put it on the pavement because… I dunno: 'something'. Can't put it in the main carriageway because it would inconvenience motorists, so let's just block the cycle lane that nobody uses anyway etc etc.
We've seen many examples of public bodies - councils etc - doing the very same thing, so is it any great surprise when private businesses do it?
Move it so that it blocks the entrance to the car wash, why should people using the bike lane, pavement or main carriageway suffer?
Is it common to have a car wash in a built up area like that? Seems a pretty low value business for expensive land.
They are frequently on the site of closed down petrol stations, which I believe face significant challenges in terms of both decommissioning and getting planning permission for change of use, so the landowners are often happy to get some income from their site by allowing temporary car wash facilities whilst they go through the necessary processes.
Look like it used to be a filling station, they've been closing down in large numbers for the last 20 years, probably due in part to supermarkets selling fuel as a loss-leader. For a new building to go on that land, there's a huge cost to the landowner/developer of removing the underground tanks, so hand car wash services are cropping up all over the place to make use of the forecourt.
Pretty common. They're often set up in defunct garages and petrol stations. The cars they're cleaning aren't low value though, judging by their listing on Google.
I love how they thought a sign was necessary, on top of the double yellow lines and kerb markings.
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