Painfully bad cycle lane makes us laugh (you'll cry if you don't); Jackass does cycling; Santander Cycles seen in Jamaica and Australia; Bike shop celebrates 100th birthday; Irn Bru gels; Bike rack fail; Helicopter bunny-hopping + more on the live blog

Hardly the 12 disciples, but Bath's active travel future will be informed by the 12 without "ingrained opinions"...

That's according to the Bath Echo who say the council and University of Bath have stumped up £30,000 to establish an independent citizens' panel for members tasked with deciding the most appropriate and safe strategic cycle routes into the city centre, university and Claverton Down.

Bath and North East Somerset Council leader Kevin Guy told the Local Democracy Reporting Service: "The panel will have nothing to do with people with ingrained opinions. Britain Thinks will do a thorough selection process.

“It’s not abdicating responsibility – it’s about instilling confidence that decisions are made fairly. There’s a feeling that decisions are made behind closed doors by a small clique of people. You can’t get any fairer or more transparent than a citizens’ panel.

"Allowing residents to help make decisions is democracy in action."

Danish cycling apparel brand Pas Normal Studios has launched its first line of gravel gear with the new 15-piece Escapism Collection. The cycling-specific pieces are offered in men’s and women’s fit, while the off-bike styles have been designed with a more relaxed unisex cut.

“This hybrid collection is dedicated to gravel rides and multi-day bike touring adventures while remaining highly suitable to everyday off-the-bike applications,”  Pas Normal Studios (PNS) says.

“Each piece is designed to be versatile and easily packable to keep the wearer well-equipped in the face of uncertain conditions over multi-day adventures,” says PNS. 

The jackets, vests, and all other outer layers are finished with a C0-rated DWR treatment, which the brand claims is the most environmentally-friendly water-repellent coating available on the market. 

The collection includes a Down Jacket (£340), Down Vest (£225), Performance Fleece Zip (£200) and Vest (£160) , Stow Away Jacket (£170), Fleece Gilet (£150), Bibs (£225) as well as Knit Arm Warmers (£50) and Leg Warmers (£70).

The Bibs, for example, feature four pockets which have been integrated into the design on the thighs and back straps, providing easy-access storage solutions for your on-the-go essentials.

The high wool content used throughout the Performance Fleece Zip is said to give this piece remarkable thermal properties. “Defined by the open-grit structure of the wool blockings on the fabric lining, this garment is highly breathable while delivering warmth at the same time,” says PNS. 

Smaller accessories such as bandanas have also been included in the collection to “accent your cycling kit by adding a touch of individuality”. 

NewsThump got a shoutout on yesterday's live blog for its take on the Highway Code changes...'New Highway Code rules ‘could see cyclists lording it over drivers in further brazen attempts not to be run over’

Well, they're getting another shoutout today...this time for: 'Audi driver repeatedly fails Captcha test after failing to identify images with cyclists' including such gems as: "Every single square is a road that you could just drive down or a junction where you can pull out whenever you feel like it.  Is it some sort of trick question? Am I taking part in a Turing test?"

And..."We have been trialling a new Audi-driver-friendly version of our Captcha solution, using images of tiny tiny gaps in traffic, barely big enough a car, as they seem to have no trouble whatsoever spotting those."

Bravo, NewsThump...Bravo.

Is it two e-scooters depicted passing in opposite directions simultaneously…? 🧐 https://t.co/g6LqLtrq9G

— Ian Alexander (@Ian___Alexander) January 26, 2022

You lot have been on form this morning...is it a Dalek? Or the fifth member of Led Zeppelin perhaps? Whole lotta love for the suggestions coming in on Twitter...

Some have been saying it must be a Brompton-only lane, while Steve Douglas imagined the conversation back at base...

Jon Tyler commented: "I get it now.. crop circles are just cosmic cycle lanes!"

Foreperson: Oi, Phil, I need you to go out and paint a few bikes on that strip of road the bosses have decided to call a bike lane.
Phil: What's a bike?

— Steve Douglas 🏊🚴🏃🍰🍻 (@stevedouglas76) January 26, 2022

The 5th member of Led Zep comes in from the cold https://t.co/oGNcyeGuoz

— Mike Stead (@tweetymike) January 26, 2022

Jamaica, Australia, Romania, Gambia and Turkey are some of the locations London's Santander hire cycles have ended up, according to Transport for London. Responding to a Freedom of Information request from MyLondon, TFL revealed 4,259 bikes have been lost since 2013, and on "very rare occasions" have been reported outside the UK.

Of the 71,747 bikes which went missing for more than 24 hours since 2013, 67,498 were recovered. In 2020, 12,448 bikes went missing, of which 950 were not found.

Vandalism and theft sometimes seems an unfortunate inevitability of city centre schemes...

Nextbike recently resumed its Cardiff cycle hire scheme following a two-month suspension due to a "staggering" level of vandalism, thefts and threats against employees.

Meanwhile in Manchester, ahead of the latest fleet of hire bikes being made available, Andy Burnham urged people to not chuck them in the city's canals...

He didn't say if sneaking them out to Jamaica was allowed...although I reckon we can guess the answer...

The boys are 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊! ☠️#JackassForever hits theaters everywhere February 4th 🗓

[ Head to https://t.co/CZDATkk8bL to get your tickets today! 🔗🎟 ] pic.twitter.com/KnUPzMLUB4

— UFC (@ufc) January 25, 2022

 "The faster you pedal your bike, the faster the other guys hand goes back," is one way to motivate your monotonous turbo sessions...

Painful. But has Steve-O ever commuted into a headwind before sunrise in the depths of winter? Fair enough, that would make pretty terrible TV...