Aussie police hunt ‘poo cyclist’ who took a dump in Melbourne driveway (+ video)

Police in Melbourne are hunting for a ‘poo cyclist’ who was filmed taking a dump in the driveway of a house in one of the city’s most affluent suburbs – perhaps taking the expression ‘Leaving it out on the road’ a bit too literally.

Footage of the dirty deed, taking from a CCTV camera at the property in Brighton that served as an impromptu public convenience was shared to Reddit.

It showed the woman, wearing a blue cycle helmet, quickly whip down her leggings, do her business, then casually stroll out of the property, stopping briefly outside presumably to retrieve her bike.

“That’s disgusting and also impressive,” said one Reddit user, comparing the speed of the pit stop with that of a Formula 1 crew changing tyres mid-race.

Another said: “No magazines, no phone? I didn’t even know that was possible.”

According to a report on news.com.au, al fresco defecation is a bit of an issue in Melbourne and elsewhere in Australia, with ‘poo joggers’ often singled out as the culprits.

Suspicions that the offender is a turd category racer riding a Scatt or possibly a Merda bike have yet to be confirmed.