We all love cycling but just occasionally another rider will do something that annoys us. We're not talking about big problems here, just those little everyday irritations that could easily be avoided.
It started the other day when editor Tony came into the office complaining that another rider had zoomed by on a hill like they were in a sprint finish at the top of Alpe d'Huez, before the strain of catching and passing him had taken its toll. Despite no extra effort on Tony's part, he started to catch them again.
Awkward! What was he to do now? He could slow down to keep a polite distance behind, or he could ride up to them and perhaps pass them again, but he'd have had to be confident that he wasn't going to do exactly the same thing that they'd just done.
Why couldn't they have just judged their pace right in the first place?
Anyway, that got everyone else started...
Frequent lateness
We start the ride at 8:30 on Saturday morning. It's the same every week. If someone arrived at 8:40 last time, they need to leave home 10 minutes earlier next time to save the rest of us standing around in the cold. It's not difficult.
Riders who are often late soon find themselves riding alone.
Half-wheeling
Half-wheeling is the classic annoying move. You're cycling alongside another rider when they gradually inch half a wheel ahead. Subconsciously, you increase your speed slightly to draw level, and they move half a wheel in front again... and so on.
The result is that the speed ramps up to the point that it becomes uncomfortable for some members of the group.
Sticking a pump in the front wheel of the offending rider is frowned upon so you just have to let them know: "Stop half-wheeling. It's. Doing. My. Head. In."
Sitting between the lines
You're riding along two by two in a group, everyone in parallel lines... except that one rider who decides to sit right in the middle. Why?
Get over pal, you're ruining the system.
Geez, even the animals walking onto Noah's Ark managed to get this right!
Constantly racing
There's such a thing as a steady ride – going out and clocking up the miles at an even pace, enjoying the scenery, having a chat... But there's that rider who just doesn't get it, trying to get to the top of every rise first and attempting to drop everyone else when it's their turn on the front.
Chill out, buddy, you're impressing no one.
Wheelsucking strangers
There's a rider up ahead going much slower than you. As you catch and pass them you give a cheery 'hello'. All cool.
But then, rather than staying at their former speed, they put the hammer down and spend the next five miles clearly in the red zone, coughing and spluttering as they try to stick on your wheel. They could at least have the decency to have their coronary quietly.
Wheelsucking strangers without their say-so just ain't polite.
Serial sponging
You carry whatever you need to fix common mechanical issues, right? Okay, occasionally something unforeseeable happens and it's cool to have mates who will help out, but most problems can be sorted with a spare inner tube, a pump, and/or a multitool. That's why most people carry a spare inner tube, a pump and a multitool. But there's that rider...
"Oh, I used my spare tube a couple of weeks ago."
"This is a Torx head bolt; my multitool only has hex keys."
"My CO2 inflator takes threaded cartridges. The one I picked up is unthreaded."
No one minds once in a while, but not every time.
Here you go, have my emergency energy gel too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course you'll replace it! I believe you. Definitely.
Wearing threadbare shorts
Before cycling shorts eventually wear through, the fabric gradually gets thinner. I think you know where we're going here.
Some things can't be unseen.
When the Lycra starts to go it's time for the shorts to go.
Making excuses
They're coming back from illness. They're hungover. They've already ridden 500 miles this week. There's no limit to the number of excuses that some cyclists can come up with for not riding well.
Shaddup! No one cares!
Wandering off line
Common sense says that when you're in a group and there are riders on your inside, you can't cut in at a corner. If you do, those riders have nowhere to go but the ditch/verge/kerb. It's really obvious – isn't it?
Apparently not to everyone. Carnage!
Giving unsolicited advice
Getting a bit of guidance or a recommendation from a friend can be helpful. Getting a steam of unsolicited advice is really, really irritating.
Yeah, I know how to take the wheel off, thanks. I'm all good with putting the new tube in, cheers. Yep, I did check there was no thorn poking through the casing...
Deep breaths... Count to 10!
Ignoring noises... terrible noises!
All sorts of stuff on your bike can squeak, rattle and click, and we've all suffered from time to time.
If a bike starts to make an annoying noise on one group ride, the rider needs to sort it out before the next one. Rock up to the start of a big Sunday ride with pedals still creaking loudly like they were last week and they're going to be become really unpopular really fast.
Unannounced Strava KOM chasing
You're on a group ride that's ticking along steadily when all of a sudden a rider launches off the front as if in pursuit of an unannounced prime. They're chasing a Strava KOM. Okay, but it's kind of disruptive to everyone else. There's a time and place for everything.
Poorly aimed snot rocketing
You have to check over your shoulder before you clear your nose, that's just good manners... unless it's this guy behind you, in which case you can do what you like.
Dropping litter
It's never okay. You missed your pocket? Go back and get it, then.
Actually, this shouldn't be on a list of mildly annoying things, it's bang out of order.
Smelling bad
You can't get more than one ride out of a polyester base layer between washes. You just can't.
Okay, if you ride to work you can hang it up in the daytime and put it on again for the ride home, but that's yer lot. Either wash out the pong between rides or splash on Merino.
Yes, since you ask, we do feel better for having got that lot off our chest. What else would you add?
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47 comments
Choppers trying to be a hero, and struggling past as you sit up to scratch / adjust yourself, having been silently wheel sucking for a few miles, then instantly blowing up, and getting in the way, really irritates the hell out of me.
OK as a British-born rider who has lived in 8 other countries most of his life: this piece and the comments justify the tag 'whingeing Pom'. People can be irritating. How you choose to react is up to you - forget about it and enjoy the cameraderie, or focus on small niggles. 'Wheelsucking strangers' is perhaps the worst one above. Riding with a stranger - you might just make a new friend, even if that stranger can keep on your wheel but isn't strong enough to ride out front. Oh, but that's right - we're British, no new friends required.
"Physician, heal thyself"
I'm with you there, nice to ride with new folks and if you're not the same pace (unlikely) one of you will be a so called wheelsucker.
Group rides are a pain in the arse, full stop. Just ride alone - hey presto, none of these problems!
What bothers me the most are people complaining about other riders thinking that their own behaviours could never annoyed someone else. Especially the winners type.
Sometimes, it reminds me of those that are always complaining about their wife/husband.
Stop complaining and do or say something !
Mine are to do with lights. People turning up to a group ride in the dark, with no lights or virtually no lights. They put everyone else at risk unless they sit in the middle of the group until the sun is well and truly up. Even then, they make me nervous.
And at the other end of the scale: people who ride with 1,000,000 lumen front lights (usually MTB riders in my experience) - they can see where they are going, but no-one heading in the opposite direction can see anything.
I have a cycling pal who comes out with me. To be honest I prefer to go out on my own, as I can go where I want, change the route, set off when I want and go at the pace I want. My pal seems hell bent on dropping me at every opportunity, even though I am no slouch at all. On our last ride he dropped me three or four times, I just carried on riding at my pace. He ends up getting cold waiting for me. Anyway, the last hill on our way home is a brutal climb, in the damp you lose traction as soon as you get out of the saddle, descending it you feel like you are going to go over the bars. You know what I mean. Anyway, mate nails it, 100yds up the climb, twang! Tendon gone. Oh the irony!
: ) I hope you took no pleasure in his misfortune.
No pleasure at all. (Tee hee hee)
I notice the litter in your is an SIS gel. Why is it that every single time I see cycling related litter on a ride, it is always an SIS gel wrapper? Do litterbug tossers only buy Science in Sport fuel?
You're in the cafe, it's raining, there's a group of riders on a large table nearby chatting. All good.
Then; beep, badeep, beeeeep, badeep, badeep, beeeeeeep.
For the love of christ, pause your bloody Garmins when in the cafe! All you're doing is pissing off everyone and recording your stupid GPS drifts around the cafe. Stop it!
Thank you.
Don't know about Garmins, but if they're Wahoo users, pausing it makes no difference - it still chimes up periodically to tell you that it's merrily pinging around the place. It's probably irritating them as much as you.
Another irritation is fellow cyclists not taking a turn on the front - or taking their turn but disappearing into the distance.
This... is why I stopped riding with my so called club rides on Sundays. We would all be happily riding togetner until some wanker named Alistair decided to take off and the most of the group decided to chase him not giveing a f*&^k about the rest of the group.
and then when you suggest they might want to try a race they always have a excuse for not wanting, we are luckily enough to have a local race series on a track did I get a single volunteer to join me for the races from the " heads down doing 20 chain gang " club members " I dont have the right tyres" I dont have the right gearing set up..blar blar blar...
Keep up then.
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