We all love cycling but just occasionally another rider will do something that annoys us. We're not talking about big problems here, just those little everyday irritations that could easily be avoided.
It started the other day when editor Tony came into the office complaining that another rider had zoomed by on a hill like they were in a sprint finish at the top of Alpe d'Huez, before the strain of catching and passing him had taken its toll. Despite no extra effort on Tony's part, he started to catch them again.
Awkward! What was he to do now? He could slow down to keep a polite distance behind, or he could ride up to them and perhaps pass them again, but he'd have had to be confident that he wasn't going to do exactly the same thing that they'd just done.
Why couldn't they have just judged their pace right in the first place?
Anyway, that got everyone else started...
Frequent lateness
We start the ride at 8:30 on Saturday morning. It's the same every week. If someone arrived at 8:40 last time, they need to leave home 10 minutes earlier next time to save the rest of us standing around in the cold. It's not difficult.
Riders who are often late soon find themselves riding alone.
Half-wheeling
Half-wheeling is the classic annoying move. You're cycling alongside another rider when they gradually inch half a wheel ahead. Subconsciously, you increase your speed slightly to draw level, and they move half a wheel in front again... and so on.
The result is that the speed ramps up to the point that it becomes uncomfortable for some members of the group.
Sticking a pump in the front wheel of the offending rider is frowned upon so you just have to let them know: "Stop half-wheeling. It's. Doing. My. Head. In."
Sitting between the lines
You're riding along two by two in a group, everyone in parallel lines... except that one rider who decides to sit right in the middle. Why?
Get over pal, you're ruining the system.
Geez, even the animals walking onto Noah's Ark managed to get this right!
Constantly racing
There's such a thing as a steady ride – going out and clocking up the miles at an even pace, enjoying the scenery, having a chat... But there's that rider who just doesn't get it, trying to get to the top of every rise first and attempting to drop everyone else when it's their turn on the front.
Chill out, buddy, you're impressing no one.
Wheelsucking strangers
There's a rider up ahead going much slower than you. As you catch and pass them you give a cheery 'hello'. All cool.
But then, rather than staying at their former speed, they put the hammer down and spend the next five miles clearly in the red zone, coughing and spluttering as they try to stick on your wheel. They could at least have the decency to have their coronary quietly.
Wheelsucking strangers without their say-so just ain't polite.
Serial sponging
You carry whatever you need to fix common mechanical issues, right? Okay, occasionally something unforeseeable happens and it's cool to have mates who will help out, but most problems can be sorted with a spare inner tube, a pump, and/or a multitool. That's why most people carry a spare inner tube, a pump and a multitool. But there's that rider...
"Oh, I used my spare tube a couple of weeks ago."
"This is a Torx head bolt; my multitool only has hex keys."
"My CO2 inflator takes threaded cartridges. The one I picked up is unthreaded."
No one minds once in a while, but not every time.
Here you go, have my emergency energy gel too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course you'll replace it! I believe you. Definitely.
Wearing threadbare shorts
Before cycling shorts eventually wear through, the fabric gradually gets thinner. I think you know where we're going here.
Some things can't be unseen.
When the Lycra starts to go it's time for the shorts to go.
Making excuses
They're coming back from illness. They're hungover. They've already ridden 500 miles this week. There's no limit to the number of excuses that some cyclists can come up with for not riding well.
Shaddup! No one cares!
Wandering off line
Common sense says that when you're in a group and there are riders on your inside, you can't cut in at a corner. If you do, those riders have nowhere to go but the ditch/verge/kerb. It's really obvious – isn't it?
Apparently not to everyone. Carnage!
Giving unsolicited advice
Getting a bit of guidance or a recommendation from a friend can be helpful. Getting a steam of unsolicited advice is really, really irritating.
Yeah, I know how to take the wheel off, thanks. I'm all good with putting the new tube in, cheers. Yep, I did check there was no thorn poking through the casing...
Deep breaths... Count to 10!
Ignoring noises... terrible noises!
All sorts of stuff on your bike can squeak, rattle and click, and we've all suffered from time to time.
If a bike starts to make an annoying noise on one group ride, the rider needs to sort it out before the next one. Rock up to the start of a big Sunday ride with pedals still creaking loudly like they were last week and they're going to be become really unpopular really fast.
Unannounced Strava KOM chasing
You're on a group ride that's ticking along steadily when all of a sudden a rider launches off the front as if in pursuit of an unannounced prime. They're chasing a Strava KOM. Okay, but it's kind of disruptive to everyone else. There's a time and place for everything.
Poorly aimed snot rocketing
You have to check over your shoulder before you clear your nose, that's just good manners... unless it's this guy behind you, in which case you can do what you like.
Dropping litter
It's never okay. You missed your pocket? Go back and get it, then.
Actually, this shouldn't be on a list of mildly annoying things, it's bang out of order.
Smelling bad
You can't get more than one ride out of a polyester base layer between washes. You just can't.
Okay, if you ride to work you can hang it up in the daytime and put it on again for the ride home, but that's yer lot. Either wash out the pong between rides or splash on Merino.
Yes, since you ask, we do feel better for having got that lot off our chest. What else would you add?
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47 comments
All of these petty annoyances -and some more- are part of the reasons why I like riding alone, clocking up solitary km's. Even then: death to leeching wheelsuckers, I don't mind if they and their bikes are silent but that's not usually the case.
Helmetists, I live in NL and its safe riding when just chugging a few km's out on silky smooth flat segregated rural cycle paths, I dont want or need to wear a plastic hat. Then some traithalon kn0bend with tri bars starts screeming "you need a helmet man!!!" jeez...
Oh and squeeky drive chains on 5000 euro carbon bikes... dont buy a bike like that if you cannot be ar$ed to lube it once every 1000km...
Jumping red lights, riding on the pavement and all the other things that legitimately wind up motorists (so, obviously not, riding 2 abreast, not using mixed pedestrian/ cycle lanes etc).
Why does riding on the pavement legitimately wind up motorists. It doesn't affect motorists in any way - except possibly meaning the cyclist isn't in their way.
Everything winds up motorists.
Beeping Garmins. Read the instructions and turn the sound off.
Not sure if it's been covered up-stream, but...
Not checking behind you before coughing/clearing your nose/spitting.
Especially nowadays...
Other cyclists crashing into the back of you. In once case managing to smash the derailleur right off the back of my bike. Meanwhile he'd cycled off before I realised.
Think i've wheel sucked a couple of times. If ive been putting in a decent dig for a few miles, say on undulating terrain, and a slightly slower but still decent paced individual appears ahead, Ive been known to take a breather on the wheel for a few minutes before pushing on. SO SUE ME!
Love a good whinge though! Doubt this is to be taken too seriously, moaning about little things is a past time.
Not out on a Sunday ride then.
I find when I get a bit carried away it is good to know where the left bailout turn is.
Let he who is without sin...go live in a greenhouse
have the old stand-bys of spitting and coughing ceased now?
On the whole other people riding bicycles very rarely / if ever cause me any inconvenience as; a cyclist, a pedestrian or as a driver. I've certainly never felt in fear for my life or at risk of harm by the actions of another cyclist.
Things that other people do whilst riding bicycles that make me cringe though:
Only some of these are actually illegal.
Earphones? What do you think about deaf cyclists?
I know this is a controversial issue but that's a ludicrous comment. Being deaf and cycling and having perfectly good hearing but choosing to render oneself effectively deaf and cycling are two different things.
Either hearing is essential for cycling safely or it isn't. As deafness is fine for both driving and cycling, then I don't see why blocking off your hearing voluntarily makes much difference. Just look around more often and definitely before making a maneouvre.
Either hearing is beneficial for cycling safety or it isn't. It's not essential as many perfectly safe deaf cyclists prove. I would never rely on my hearing to make a manouevre, however I do use it extensively to identify what sorts of vehicles are coming up behind me, how close they are, etc, without having to look behind and take my eyes off what's in front of me, and also to hear any warnings from others. We have five senses but only two are really useful to keep safe when cycling, sight and hearing, personally I don't see the point in depriving myself of one of them for the dubious pleasure of being able to listen to a bit of poorly-reproduced music.
I prefer riding without music too, but I've tried it in the past for short rides from the train station and it's not a major problem.
Anyhow, there's lots more than 5 senses and I definitely think that the vestibular system is essential for bikes (more useful than hearing).
i don't listen to music, mostly a varied selection of podcasts. I do use the Aftershok stuff for that though so I still have some sound awareness but still also get a to find out why there is no such thing as a.......
I'd agree that hearing is not essential for cycling safety.
However, a deaf cyclist will, presumably, have a reasonable amount of experience in navigating the world whilst deaf, they will therefore instinctively use their other senses to compensate (eg more shoulder checks etc) and will be able to ride entirely safely.
A cyclist who can normally hear but disables their hearing will be less likely to compensate fully with additional shoulder checks etc so will place themself in greater danger.
As a sort of corollary to this I imagine many of us on this forum will have been caught out by an electric car that has overtaken us unexpectedly. Indicating how much we rely on our hearing without even realising it.
I was completely surprised by an electric bus the other day, literally came out of nowhere! Didn't even know Cardiff had electric buses.
I don't imagine many deaf cyclists find those vehicles quite so surreptitious.
I imagine many of us on this forum will have been caught out by an electric car that has overtaken us unexpectedly
I'm not finding any difficulty around North Lancashire with electric cars because what alerts me is tyre noise.
I daresay that cyclists can adapt quickly to when they can't hear and as long as they are competent cyclists they won't have a problem. Except for Daredevil, deaf people don't tend to have super-compensated senses so hearing people can easily learn to rely on their eyesight.
Mirrors !
Obviously not door or wing !
Earphones? Is that the new Door Mirror?
My most common annoyance is at traffic lights. You're sat in the cycle box waiting for the green light, in 39x19 ready to sprint off the line, and a pootler in 50x11 (because they've never understood gears) comes through and positions themselves right in front of you... Happens every time. If it's not someone permanently stuck in the wrong gear, its someone else who shows no interest in starting off at pace when the light goes green.
Get over the gear thing, calm your self down and by a fixed gear. Never in the wrong gear then, just in a gear.
Sorry me that is buy.
Same point, basically, but not about the gears. Riders you overtake (comfortably - not because you're racing them) but who then pull in front of you at the next lights, or race away when the lights change, so you have to get passed them again.
wheel suckers ! try a gang of wheel suckers doing a bit of a hilly sportive last year, jogging along at my own pace see a group in the distance and as you do caught them up just at the start of a long 2Km climb they stayed on my wheel the entire climb, no effort to take a turn then at the top all over take but then slow down, and after about 300metres I was shouted at to take my turn on the front ! they all learnt some new sweary words that day !
The thing about CO2 only taking threaded is balls anyway. I often use an unthreaded inflator ( the exact one pictured as it happens) on threaded valves. It wears the rubber grommet, but not for ages.
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