A woman in Ireland has written to a newspaper’s agony aunt to ask for advice about how to approach her husband after discovering that his daily bike rides were a cover for popping down the pub for a lunchtime session and a meal.
The anonymous woman wrote to an advice column in The Irish Times to say that her husband has undergone a series of operations following a heart attack around two years ago, and was ordered by doctors to change his lifestyle.
He gave up smoking and took early retirement from what his wife described as a “very stressful” job, then “in order to improve his cardiac function he purchased a very expensive bicycle and spent months planning cycling routes.
“He was never really a big fan of exercise, so I was delighted by this and have actively encouraged him,” she wrote.
“Each evening he informs me he has cycled for over two hours and impresses me with the distance he has travelled. I make a healthy dinner and run the bath for him and sometimes rub his aching muscles.
“He has been disappointed that this new regime has not yet impacted on his waistline.”
It turns out there was a good reason for that - he would pedal just a couple of miles to a local pub for a few pints and a meal.
“Recently during a Sunday lunch at a bar two miles from our house, a waitress seemed to be very familiar with my husband,” the woman continued.
“While I hate spying on him, I discreetly asked her how she knew him. She said that he comes into the bar most days in his cycling gear for a few pints and a full lunch.”
The author of the letter continued: “I am very angry with him, as I am not sure who he thinks that he is fooling by concocting such a convoluted story about his athletic achievements and improved dietary regime.”
She added that she had never been aware of her husband having lied to her before and that she is worried about his health, but does not know how to approach him about it.
“If he doesn’t do more, then it is very likely that he will have a second heart attack,” she concluded.
Advice columnist Trish Murphy concluded her reply, which you can read here, with the words: “Have faith and patience as the road to fitness and weight loss is long and slow with many detours along the way.
Recently, we reported on another case of cycling-induced marital strife – this one from Turkey, where a woman was seeking a divorce from her husband because of what she described as his “obsession” with his bicycle.
> Woman in Turkey seeks divorce over husband's bicycle ‘obsession’
Filing her complaint, she said: "My husband always spends time with his bicycle. He has a different kind of a bond with it."
She added: "This is not an ordinary attachment, he is literally in love with the bike."
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12 comments
#legend
While the spousal deception is somewhat breathtaking, I have a suspicion that he may still be healthier now than before, even if he's only riding a few miles a day.
If I was her, I'd buy a bike any tell him I was joining him for a ride once a week!
And not once did the wife smell his beer breath ....
@Karl brilliant!
This is both hilarious and rather worrying in equal measures!
I was lucky enough to get to undergo open heart surgery in my late teens, whilst I had been fairly into cycling before, having the heart issues (as well as a family history of heart problems) prompted me to dramatically improve my fitness. A few years on and I'm as fit as I've ever been and getting fitter still!
Regular alcohol and pub lunches are a shortcut to a heart attack if you've got heart issues (in fact, the same is true even if you don't have heart issues).
It's not rocket science. Tell the pub to ban him. Demand Strava evidence of all activities. Or even offer it as an incentive. You show the barman the computer at 40 miles, he'll give you a meal. If it's less than that, he'll send you back out!
Years ago (way before Strava, just at the time GPS computers were becoming a thing) I worked in a bike shop. One of the staff had a habit of buying the latest shiny thing almost as soon as it came through the door. He bought the full Garmin 805 package (HR, cadence, the works) and would then bore everyone senseless with how he'd ridden this far, that fast etc.
After a while, predictably, he got bored with it and sold it to me for a fraction of it's true worth. Unfortunately he'd forgotten to delete all the ride history. His longest ride was 11 miles - about 8 times shorter than the ride distances he was regularly claiming.
Karl M77.
Very funny. Even made my wife laugh.
Karl M77.
Very funny. Even made my wife laugh.
Oh, so I'm not the only one then...
Strava or it didn't happen.
Surely that's the point ... it didn't happen.
Clearly the wife should demand Strava evidence before dispensing the sports massage physio (or at least that's what I hope she meant by "rubbing his aching muscles")
Strava_Pub.png