Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...
I'll save you a click with a brief recap. Jeremy Kyle is Talk TV's chosen replacement for Piers Morgan (conjuring thoughts of would you rather cut your arm or leg off), and stood in for the 'uncensored' host last night as the new station, owned by Rupert Murdoch's News UK, used its primetime show to tackle the big issue of the day — Transport Secretary Grant Shapps' later-contradicted statement about getting tough on bike riders...
> Confusion as Grant Shapps now says he is "not attracted to bureaucracy" of number plates for cyclists
Riding a stationary bicycle in-studio, Kyle — formerly of the self-named Jeremy Kyle 'chat show' once described by a judge as "human bear-baiting" and later pulled from production following the suicide of a guest — set off on a rant akin to many a Facebook comments section...
"How do you get to use the highways with no licence, no insurance, and without paying any tax, and with absolutely no speed limit? The answer is, of course, as easy as riding a bike...
> OPINION: Grant Shapps' stupid cycling comments are ill-judged, dangerous and fuelling more hatred towards cyclists
"This is the only time ever you'll see me doing this. I get irrationally angry about cyclists, I mean it. Don't come near me, I'm a cycle-path."
In the next minute-and-a-half Kyle recites the greatest "what's not to loathe?" hits: cyclists "dressing up like the Tour de France", the "chaingangs...riding side by side, whilst us tax-paying motorists queue behind getting later and later and more irate", "your Jeremy Vines, with more cameras than Kodak, picking fights and running red lights".
Strangely, as if to prove his point, Talk TV then ran a tape showing close passes, motorists hitting cyclists, road rage violence and a driver about to run a red light...
And it wasn't just Talk TV... as we got the double-header of GB News too, who an hour later on Dan Wootton's 9pm Tonight show repeated the 'discussion'.
You probably can't face any more, but, if you can, here's how Shapps' comments were reported in the national press and broadcast media yesterday...