"This needs an exorcist, not a mechanic": You'll never train indoors without a towel again; Every bike rack has its thorn: Lidl cycle parking filled with plants; How to take Sa Calobra's KOM; Alaphilippe's "race against time" + more on the live blog

Aku bersyukur dengan segala nikmat dan ujian dari Mu Ya Allah 🤲

"Apakah manusia itu mengira bahwa mereka akan dibiarkan mengatakan, "Kami telah beriman", sedang mereka tidak diuji lagi? Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji orang-orang sebelum mereka” (29:2) pic.twitter.com/xOSvdJJwbC

— Azizulhasni Awang (@AzizulAWANG) May 1, 2022

Malaysian track cyclist Azizulhasni Awang, who won Keirin silver at last summer's Tokyo Olympic Games, has undergone open heart surgery in Australia. The 34-year-old won bronze in Rio in 2016 before last year's silver, but began feeling chest pain in February.

Having been referred to a cardiologist, Awang was operated on last month, news he revealed in a post on social media. "This heart condition is very rare and the specialist in Australia had advised him to undergo corrective heart surgery as otherwise, the risk of cardiac arrest was very high," National Sports Institute chief executive officer Ahmad Faedzal Ramli said.  

Qualified bike mechanics should make $1,000 an hour. pic.twitter.com/QZFjPYoWQ3

— Stevil Kinevil (@StevilKinevil) April 29, 2022

Warning: if you do stuff like this and then expect a mechanic to sort it out, your local bike shop WILL hate you...

 It's as good an advert as any for making sure you use a towel when training indoors. You could stick this on turbo trainer boxes à la cigarette packaging to pretty good effect. Unfortunately, we haven't yet been able to track this hideous handlebar down to source (we'd love all the grizzly details on how many unprotected Zwift miles it takes) but apparently it came from a mechanics' forum where, presumably, everyone moans about how much they hate their job...

Either way, the sweat corroded handlebars found their way to Twitter (as all disgusting things do) where it was shared with the apt caption: "Qualified bike mechanics should make $1,000 an hour".

At least the replies were fun...

That needs an exorcist, not a mechanic.

— Jacques Le Singe (@John_the_Monkey) April 29, 2022

Pretty fancy bike considering it was pulled out of the grand ballroom of the titanic

— MadRushOutwars (@lobsterpants) April 30, 2022

Incredibly, it wasn't even the most grim job to come from this...

Hold on a second… So actual urine was stored in the frame? If yes, I have a number of additional questions.

— Stevil Kinevil (@StevilKinevil) April 29, 2022

Yep. Claimed to be an Ironman, pisses while on his bike during training/races and never washed the bike.

— @hostilebear (@hostilebear) April 29, 2022

Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it...

That's taking the piss...

Zéfal has put out a voluntary recall of its Little Z children's bottles after some were found to not always meet safety standards. BikeBiz reports the brand released a statement explaining how tests showed that in "rare cases the push-pull valve may detach too easily.

There is a choking hazard in case the push-pull valve would detach while drinking. However, to date, we are not aware of any incidents or detaching valves. Nevertheless, since the affected bottles were specifically designed for children, out of an abundance of caution we have decided to voluntarily undertake a recall of the affected bottles.

At least they responded to the tweet in a suitable way unlike the likes of Amazon & Bus Eireann

— Eoin M O'Neachtain 5G (@MacL0ve) May 3, 2022

It seems Lidl isn't the only one... 

Had the same issue with @BandQ last week but after contacting the shop they moved the plants. Maybe @LidlGB would do the same if they realised?

— L to the G 💙 (@magicbeanz1986) May 3, 2022

In fairness, Lidl responded quickly, making us assume there'll be some sort of progress on this front. 

@Morrisons in Belper does this all the time! Really annoying

— Nat Ⓥ (@ntzm_) May 3, 2022

Owd Big 'ead reported similar issues at Aldi: "My local Aldi does exactly the same and never does anything to help myself or other cyclists regardless of how politely you ask. Their loss, they don't get my business anymore."

eburtthebike added: "I'm waiting with bated breath for the opening of the new Lidl in Lydney, and whether it has decent cycle parking, unlike the Co-op and Tesco. 

"Whatever, it's got to be better than the Sainsburys in Filton which had a rack that would block the emergency exit if you locked your bike to it, which I reported three times but had to get the Fire Brigade involved before the management did anything.  In an act of spite, they moved the cycle parking to as far away from the entrance as possible, so good on Lidl management for actually listening."

 Supermarket bike parking is becoming a genre of its own...

> Most competitive Strava segment in the world? Ed Laverack smashes Sa Calobra KOM