New cycling race format sees cyclists aiming to ride at exactly 20mph to work around new speed limits

With 20mph now the default speed limit on restricted roads in Wales, and other parts of the UK moving to impose the lower speed limit in residential areas to improve safety, it was feared the sport of time trialling on open roads could be under threat; however, a new organisation has come up with a novel cycling format to beat the restrictions, with first prize going to the cyclist who can ride at precisely 20mph.

As road.cc reported in February, questions were raised over how certain time trials could continue where parts of the course restricted motor traffic to 20mph, with top TT riders able to average in excess of 30mph on fast courses. The new Cycling Timed Miles (CTM) organisation thinks it has the answer, as its fun new racing discipline is all about accuracy and restraint rather than speed.

In an exclusive interview, the CTM’s CEO Simon Swatch told road.cc: “The CTM is bringing a whole new dimension to competitive cycling, as the winner is the rider who gets closest to the time target rather than the one who gets to the finish line first. It’s like darts or that one with the stones and sweeping on an ice rink but on bikes, pretty much.

“No GPS computers, speedometers or watches will be allowed on the day, so riders will have to use their inner clock to pace themselves.”

What if participants go over the speed limit, we hear you ask? The CTM has it covered, with a fleet of XL Bully ‘pacer dogs’ on hand.

The dogs, who were all rehomed by the CTM following the recent XL Bully ban, are specially trained to detect bicycle-shaped objects moving at speeds of 22mph or more, ensuring a tough deterrent for riders straying too far over the 20mph target.

“It could even help drivers to stick to the limit themselves,” Swatch added.

“If you’re following a talented rider in a CTM race who hasn’t attracted the attention of the dogs, you know they’re riding at pretty much bang on 20mph.”

With the speed obtainable for most amateur cyclists and the aim of the game being perfect pace judgement, there is no need for age or gender categories in CTM races, Swatch boasting that his new organisation is “the most inclusive going.”

“We’re pretty much uncancellable!”, laughed Swatch, lightly gripping his four snarling pacer dogs.

Despite organisers working hard to devise the new format to be compliant with the lower speed limits, it’s feared that overzealous police officers could see cyclists who go over 20mph at any point in their race, or finish with an average time that is faster than 20mph, as easy targets for enforcement.

“For those who weren’t aware, you can actually get points applied to your driving licence for reckless cycling offences, so we’ll be keeping a close eye on the speedometer during CTM events,” said PC Samuel Stickler.

“And before you accuse us of misusing our resources… well I didn’t make the rules, and many crooks apprehended for seemingly minor offences turn out to be guilty of more serious crimes. A number of CTM cyclists we’ve caught riding at 21mph or above have also been done for sock height and sunglasses under helmet strap offences since we began our crackdown.”

Arthur Boil said: “It’s about time, these bloody cyclists shouldn’t be able to get away with it.

“I saw one go through a red light this morning from the cab of my monster truck, and immediately stopped texting so I could post the evidence to my local Facebook group. It’s high time they had number plates and insurance and paid road tax, or something.”

Despite a heavy police presence, ominous canine threat and complaints from locals, pilot CTM events have proved popular so far, with cyclists relishing the new challenge of trying to keep to a constant speed.

Clarence Claris, a time trial veteran and early adopter of the new format, told road.cc: “I can’t seem to crack that elusive 30-minute 10 mile, and keep coming in with clockings of around 28 minutes. Not meaning to humblebrag or anything, but guess I need to step off the gas a bit!

“Anyway, I’ve currently racked up 13 wanton and furious cycling offences and 17 dog bites from my first dozen Cycling Timed Miles races, am banned from driving and have spent the last three post-race evenings in a prison cell. All things considered, it’s still marginally cheaper and less stressful than doing Ride London, so I’ll go again after serving my latest sentence.”

An Easter Sunday CTM 10 mile event in Gwent yesterday saw the winner Maureen Merida-Speeder clock an impressive 30:12, with Brian Reynolds-Steel taking 2nd place in a time of 30:24 and Ray-Lee Chopper coming 3rd in 30:37. 125 budding 20mph time trial enthusiasts competed on the day, with 53 disqualifications, 27 hospitalisations and 15 arrests recorded.

If you’re interested in signing up for a CTM event, click here.

* Update, noon: Congratulations to all the sleuths out there who clocked (pun intended) that this was indeed an April Fool. Enjoy your bank holiday rides today, however many miles per hour you're attempting to ride at, and watch out for them dogs!