The price of pop-up bike lanes for one city’s cyclists? Compulsory registration, helmets and side mirrors

I appreciate that since we are in lockdown it has been difficult to tell what time/date it is so I have to ask: is it April Fools' Day?

If there's an RTA, you have to give your particulars to anyone reasonably requiring it - assuming you're still conscious, of course. 

There is a steady stream of "aren't cyclists terrible" letters to local newspapers. No doubt arising from many a self-styled "innocent" motorist (never speed, never park on the pavement or close pass - oh no wait, there was that time, but Stella had forgotten her purse and I had to go after her...").  

It's an amazing feat of mental gymnastics to flip yourself on the roads from king pin to underdog. https://www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/18506120.letter-cyclist-critic-needs-c... (I didn't catch the original letter.)

Do some of the cycle registration calls come from people in whose areas there are indeed youths on bikes causing trouble, and that if registration were to work, they'd be more easily caught?

The VED for bikes thing answers itself these days.  And for those who do pay it, it's not a "drive like a pratt tax". 

Never quite sure what I'm meant to be insuring myself against. I always struggle with cycle insurance forms as I tend to self-build and re-spray : MAKE: none (was Raleigh) MODEL: none (was Gran Sport), or MAKE Allegro (but it was a Ribble when I bought it) MODEL: Special Professional. AGE: ??????

When I was a kid the city I lived in had a mandatory registration scheme with a small fee.  You received a water decal with a registration number which was applied to the frame and then covered with lacquer to make it a little harder to remove.

The supposed reason was to be able to return stolen bicycles to their owners.  I had one bike stolen, and I don't recall that it was ever returned.

The city where I now live has an online registration scheme where you can register anything with a serial number, and they will still never catch the thief. But it is on line  and there is no charge for the service, so it is progress.

I agree with all the people posting who say this is just a way to get away from the obvious; collisions between bicycles and motor vehicles are overwhelmingly the fault of the motor vehicle.

OK, I'm not the tallest person (5ft 6), but as it is I struggle to find space to attach things on my commuting bike.  At the back there are a couple of lights and a mudguard.  In the summer the lights are replaced with a saddle bag containing a spare tube and tools. The handlebars on my bike are relatively narrow, so again in the winter the two lights basically take up the available space.  I could use the freed up space in the summer for a bell, but in the winter there simply isn't enough real estate to add one.

So, lets say that they wanted me to add a registration plate to my bike in the UK.  Where exactly would I attach it?

I'll gladly pay £2.36 a year if it shut up all the motorists moaning about lack of tax, provided of course it allowed me completely shared use of the roads as should already be my right, and meant that those who try to remove this right are punished for it.

So would you be allowed to *not* use the bike lanes, and not bother with all the registration and (literally!) other bells and whistles?