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TECH NEWS
hairy nude cycling jersey front - via.PNGIs this the worst cycling jersey ever? The Hairy Nude kit "will get motorists looking twice", say its creators
Want to bring "fun and laughs" to your cycling friends? Although we'd beg to differ and think it might terrify the vast majority, cycling apparel brand Bicycle Booth say their Hairy Nude collection will do just that. Featuring a detailed print of a very hairy torso on the jersey, they also claim the Hairy Nude gear will "get motorists looking twice" when you're out on the road.
- 24 of the best summer cycling jerseys
- Full Kit Ranker, the winner: the story of La Vie Claire's classic jersey, voted the greatest of all time
While the distasteful gear has been on sale since December, somehow it escaped our attention but appears to have been spreading around social media recently. Bicycle Booth say cyclists need to be seen, and you can't argue that the Hairy Nude collection is likely to get you plenty of attention... just probably not for all the right reasons. It's proper cycling kit, with quick-drying fabric and three rear pockets so you can "practice your favourite sport and feel good at the same time"; even if you don't look very good.
Things aren't much better at the back
The Hairy Nude kit comes in two skin tone colours, and there are both short-sleeved and long-sleeved thermal jerseys, priced at £40 and £56 respectively. There are also gilets (£40) and bib shorts (£40) if you want to go full hairy nude, although the shorts do have plain black Lycra over the essential parts rather than a graphic depiction. That's more than can be said of this eye-catching outfit worn by Colombia's national cycling team back in 2014...
In any case, head over to Bicycle Booth's website if you think you're brave enough to go Hairy Nude in public.
Update, 7th August 2020: road.cc have asked Bicycle Booth for a statement after being made aware of negative feedback from customers regarding shipping delays and product descriptions.
Jack has been writing about cycling and multisport for over a decade, arriving at road.cc via 220 Triathlon Magazine in 2017. He worked across all areas of the website including tech, news and video, and also contributed to eBikeTips before being named Editor of road.cc in 2021 (much to his surprise). Jack has been hooked on cycling since his student days, and currently has a Trek 1.2 for winter riding, a beloved Bickerton folding bike for getting around town and an extra beloved custom Ridley Helium SLX for fantasising about going fast in his stable. Jack has never won a bike race, but does have a master's degree in print journalism and two Guinness World Records for pogo sticking (it's a long story).
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20 comments
Might be the worst cycling kit but also the worst company to deal with. Unacceptably bad quality goods and poor service.
I had the misfortune to order 3 jerseys from Bicycle Booth. They were finally posted 38 days later (after I started a paypal claim), up until that point I was lied to about the jerseys having been shipped. When finally arrived all three were far larger than the size ordered, saggy and poorly shaped, zips were not straight, one had a stitching defect and one design differed from the website images.
I ended up paying to send the jerseys to Canada for get a refund, Bicycle Booth refused to do anything without getting them back and refused to pay for or contribute the return costs.
Looking on various review sites (beyond the obviously fake 5 star reviews) you can see it isn't just me.
https://uk.trustpilot.com/review/www.bicyclebooth.com
Interestingly you can get the exact same jersey designs from elsewhere for a lot less...
I think this is a great idea, it humanises the rider, the opposite of what lycra and helmets do, so the motorist sees the rider as a human and therefore something to be cautious around
Although a bit less hairy would probably be a bit better
Not sure 'humanises' is the word. Certainly places them in the ape family, but that's about as far as I'd go.
Mum, is that you?
The back is just monstrous (was it filmed on a full moon?), but even the front is printed as being way hairier than I have EVER been.
The front is me if I don't have a trim now and then.
The back just has to be from a non-human species.
There doesn't seem to be an emoji for "shudder"...
"You're a cyclist, why don't you shave your legs?"
- I haven't got enough time left over after dealing with the rest of me.
Well. I can't unsee THAT.
2011 Cintia Gym Ad from Brazil for balance?
If you are going to wear this kit, you should only do it whilst riding an appropriate bike. I give you the horror that is the Wolfman Klein......
I cant find a bigger pic anymore but fortunately that spares you the horror of a close up of the seat tube. On retrobike if you are interested.
I can't actually tell what's printed on that frame?
Its a bike painted as a werewolf. Face on the steerer tube, front legs on the forks, back on the top tube, c*ck on the seat tube (yes really) and back legs on the seat stays. I wish I could find the original full size bike for you to view the full horror.
Plus its on one of the classic pre-Trek Klein Attitudes that had legendary paint jobs to begin with, which is near sacriledge in retrobiking MTB circles.
Is this the only counter example of Betteridge's Law?
But is it reflective?
This would be a boon for any student film-makers who wish to recreate the chest-burster scene from Alien.
Are they planning on doing shorts? Asking for a friend.
Edit: They already do and I don't know if I'm disappointed or relieved.
I was afraid to scroll down the story in case there was a picture.
Could someone braver than me, and not on a work laptop, answer the obvious followup question?
Be careful what you wish for. Once seen, things can't be unseen.