Car cleaning

Car cleaning is a bit of a sore point with me at the moment; can you shoot f***ing Seagulls? Live and let live and all that but what is it with them and newly polished cars? One of the f***ers even hit my handlebars; good shot I thought, but so am I I bet they taste awful as well.

Angle grinder.

They're great... Especially if your car is in that not quite dirty enough for an actual clean but bad enough that quick detailer won't be enough stage

If you really want to get geeky, a de-ionising water filter for rinsing is on my wish list!

Ok, so I gave you the budget version, but municipal waste has gone all pistonheads on us! I actually typed snow-foam but deleted it because although it's a good move, I don't have direct experience on them.

Oh yeah, Auto Glym screen wash is also the dogs.

The greatest piece of kit you will ever get yourself is a snow-foam lance.
http://www.theultimatefinish.co.uk/
These guys sell them and also do a pretty good detergent to use in it.
If you do high mileage you might need a TFR spray for the lower part of the car and wheel arches. Alternatively a bug remover like Auto Glym one and a specific pad next.
Then the 2 bucket method described by notfastenough is perfect, but make sure your buckets have grit guards in them. I like to use a Dodo Juice microfibre 'sponge' because it doesn't pick up grit.
After washing you need to dry the car, microfibres are great for this and there are specific ones for drying.

Then you can buy a clay bar and lube. If you look it up on You Tube you'll see what these are. I like to use the soft yellow clay from Dodo Juice and their Born Slippy Lube.

After that you can polish the car. I prefer to use Auto Glym Super Resin Polish because it's easy to work with and I just use their cloths too, although they're a bit linty. You could get a machine polisher, the Dodo Juice one is great.

In areas where the paint is a bit more scuffed or on nasty swirl marks, sometimes I use Auto Glym Paint Renovator, but use it as little as possible.

Finally finish up with a wax. Dodo Juice ones are great, they do different ones for different colours. Basically harder ones are harder to apply but last better and softer ones are the opposite.

If you really want to cap it all off nicely then you can use a quick detailer on top, something like Dodo Juice Red Mist.

For the leather inside, Poorboys Leather Stuff is amazing, Autoglym foaming Shampoo is great on carpets.

Dodo Juice again make great wheel cleaner and their Tyromania is great. It's also a good idea to seal your alloys up after with something like Gtechniq C5.

I tend to use Dodo Juice glass cleaner and I have their Mint Merkin window cloth. You can polish the glass, I use Auto Glym. Then seal it with Gtechniq G1.

Any questions let me know :-P

Well how else do you keep the blood of all those silly cyclist off my nice car

Tony, if you're thinking of getting Thule roof racks, give me a shout. I used to have a 500 and still have the feet and possibly the short roof connector. As the feet are car specific they're just sitting in the shed now.

Zymol! Use the car shampoo you can buy in Halfords.

They do a full range of products - expensive, but the best I have ever found.

Clean your bikes and bring them indoors.

Car stays outside, rain cleans it.

There, I sorted it!

how are you gonna get a bike in that?

Some top tips from notfastenough.

As for products, the muc-off ubershine shampoo is pretty good (plus smells great). I've tried a few polishes over the years, the best results i had are first to use the mguires clay kit, it takes some effort but makes the paint surface silky smooth. Then follow up with Collinite No476s super double coat auto wax. The wax is the best i have ever use and highly recommend it. It's a bit costly but your car will certainly shine and you'll have great water beading after the rain:-)

Hose off excess muck
2 buckets, 1 with hottish water. Mequires shampoo in the hot one.
Clean sponge into hot one, wring lightly, wipe down one panel or section.
Rinse in 2nd bucket.
Rinse and repeat, as they say.
Start at the top and work down.
Hose to rinse again, then microfiber cloth to dry.
Glass cleaner on glass.
Wheel cleaner + kitchen dish brush on alloys.

Worked a treat when I had a TT. Enjoy the car!