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Too many cycling twits!

by unclebadger
Thu, Mar 12, 2015 10:13
127

Oh lordy-lord y'all what to do? On my daily commute back and forth into and out of the city of London I am encountering an unfeasibly large number of cycling twits and feel no love for them at all.

Not you obviously, you're alright mate, but you know who I mean right?

Yeah you do. You've seen em, I'm talking about the posers. The people riding bikes that cost more than my car and its a pretty damn-nice car too! Clad in team Sky colours, posing with energy gels at traffic lights - cutting you up and riding around at night, with no lights wearing all black thinking that they are invincible Ninjas. You're not f@ckin Ninjas OK!

Worst of all seems to be the growing number of people that get into daily slanging matches with car and bus drivers.
I've even seen and been on the recieveing end of arguments with fellow cyclists. Where's the solidarity brothers and sisters?. How many people have to die before you are going to understand the simple rule: Biggest Wins!
Dont fight cars you are going to lose. Surely deference is the key for all us road users to get along.

It never used to be this way. Will it ever revert or has the lid to Pandora's box fallen off its hinges?

What do people think?
Will the sea of cycling twittery eventually recede back and allow a return to good times?. Shoud I just get over it, grow a beard, drop a grand in Rapha and remortgage my house to buy a bike that I am too fat to ride properly?

Someone said to me recently "Cycling is the new Golf". The shock has worn off but the pain hasn't gone away.

Your answers on a postcard please.

Big Love

Uncle Badger (Trainee Old Git)

If you're new please join in and if you have questions pop them below and the forum regulars will answer as best we can.

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127 comments

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daddyELVIS replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
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Judge dreadful wrote:
daddyELVIS wrote:

You are thick as well as a prick! You say you don't care, then go on a rant that suggests the opposite!

I find those two things are usually attributed to people who make judgements on people they've never met, on an Internet forum. Ohhhhhhhh you are the epitome of irony.

You are hilarious, I give you that!

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stenmeister | 9 years ago
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Sometimes I wear pro kit. Does that make me a wanker on those days? 7

The biggest wankers are those who judge other people, based on their speed, ability, weight, choice of bike.

Just enjoy the ride.

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notfastenough | 9 years ago
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Who gives a sh*t? I was wearing decent kit on the commute the other day - because I added an extra 25 miles to the ride home. Do I have to wear a sign proclaiming this fact in order to make it ok to wear my club jersey?

As for judge dreddful playing 'orbit the FPKW' (catchy!) - you sir, are a large and rather grand turd. I hope you try it one day and find a pro rider letting you pass because he/she is strictly on a recovery ride - until they've had enough and show you what's what.

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Judge dreadful replied to notfastenough | 9 years ago
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notfastenough wrote:

Who gives a sh*t? I was wearing decent kit on the commute the other day - because I added an extra 25 miles to the ride home. Do I have to wear a sign proclaiming this fact in order to make it ok to wear my club jersey?

As for judge dreddful playing 'orbit the FPKW' (catchy!) - you sir, are a large and rather grand turd. I hope you try it one day and find a pro rider letting you pass because he/she is strictly on a recovery ride - until they've had enough and show you what's what.

I actually like it when I get it wrong, and do it to an actual handy rider. I've picked up some subtle, but effective 'tricks of the trade' from these guys. Usually they know the game anyway, they do give some banter, but there's a huge difference between a bit of tounge in cheek banter, and some lardy arsed prat in full pro kit, who takes a kick at your front wheel, for having the audacity to pass their gazillion pound super machine, on my "piece of shit Boardheap". I don't class people in club kit as FPKW's. They are in fact, the antithesis of a FPKW. Club kit = good, full pro kit (that hasn't been provided by a team ) = bad.

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stenmeister replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
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Judge dreadful wrote:
notfastenough wrote:

Who gives a sh*t? I was wearing decent kit on the commute the other day - because I added an extra 25 miles to the ride home. Do I have to wear a sign proclaiming this fact in order to make it ok to wear my club jersey?

As for judge dreddful playing 'orbit the FPKW' (catchy!) - you sir, are a large and rather grand turd. I hope you try it one day and find a pro rider letting you pass because he/she is strictly on a recovery ride - until they've had enough and show you what's what.

I actually like it when I get it wrong, and do it to an actual handy rider. I've picked up some subtle, but effective 'tricks of the trade' from these guys. Usually they know the game anyway, they do give some banter, but there's a huge difference between a bit of tounge in cheek banter, and some lardy arsed prat in full pro kit, who takes a kick at your front wheel, for having the audacity to pass their gazillion pound super machine, on my "piece of shit Boardheap". I don't class people in club kit as FPKW's. They are in fact, the antithesis of a FPKW. Club kit = good, full pro kit (that hasn't been provided by a team ) = bad.

Wearing Club Kit doesn't necessarily make you a better rider or better person. Some of the club guys I have met are dead nice, some are indeed, wankers.

I am also not convinced that their club kit is necessarily better than pro kit produced by say Castelli or Rapha.

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notfastenough replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
0 likes
Judge dreadful wrote:
notfastenough wrote:

Who gives a sh*t? I was wearing decent kit on the commute the other day - because I added an extra 25 miles to the ride home. Do I have to wear a sign proclaiming this fact in order to make it ok to wear my club jersey?

As for judge dreddful playing 'orbit the FPKW' (catchy!) - you sir, are a large and rather grand turd. I hope you try it one day and find a pro rider letting you pass because he/she is strictly on a recovery ride - until they've had enough and show you what's what.

I actually like it when I get it wrong, and do it to an actual handy rider. I've picked up some subtle, but effective 'tricks of the trade' from these guys. Usually they know the game anyway, they do give some banter, but there's a huge difference between a bit of tounge in cheek banter, and some lardy arsed prat in full pro kit, who takes a kick at your front wheel, for having the audacity to pass their gazillion pound super machine, on my "piece of shit Boardheap". I don't class people in club kit as FPKW's. They are in fact, the antithesis of a FPKW. Club kit = good, full pro kit (that hasn't been provided by a team ) = bad.

If someone has honestly taken a kick at your front wheel just for passing them, you're doing it wrong. Seriously, I think it's you with the issues.

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atgni replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
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Judge dreadful wrote:

.....who takes a kick at your front wheel, for having the audacity to pass their gazillion pound super machine, on my "piece of shit Boardheap".

If you've passed them, how do they kick your front wheel?

Unless you're baiting them and just trying one of you claimed repeated close passes!

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MKultra | 9 years ago
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I am a leaf on the wind.

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brooksby replied to MKultra | 9 years ago
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MKultra wrote:

I am a leaf on the wind.

Well, yeah, but only until your primary buffer panel comes off!

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musicalmarc | 9 years ago
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I ride 10 miles into London everyday and I don't see many cycling jerseys. I see far more flat bar commuter and converted mountain bikes. Towards summer I see a few more and the route out to Hertfordshire gets busier.
My experience of lighting is also different. Too many super bright lights nowadays considering London's roads have street lights.

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Quince | 9 years ago
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Yeah, this has gotten a bit nasty. Let's go back to talking about carrots.

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rggfddne | 9 years ago
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Trolling.

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userfriendly replied to rggfddne | 9 years ago
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nuclear coffee wrote:

Trolling.

Wow, and it only took some 40 comments for someone to finally call the OP on that.

That's appalling. I'm appalled!

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brooksby | 9 years ago
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Is it me or is "too many cycling twits" a bit too close to "cyclists are their own worst enemy"? Someone can enjoy cycling more than anything and yet not be able to go over 10 mph, and enjoy eating carrots, and never wear lycra, and obey every traffic law. Equally, someone can wear lycra and ride a VERY expensive bike and break every rule under the sun while wearing headphones. We are all different. We are all individuals. We all ride for differing reasons, on different rides. We are not answerable for the actions of other people who ride a bike, nor do we need to set them right. No more than a man driving a white van is responsible for the actions of every white van man we've seen losing it on youtube, or every responsible bus driver for the actions of the irresponsible ones, or every motorist being expected to justify and apologise for every speeding or pave-parking motorist. /rant

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teaboy replied to brooksby | 9 years ago
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brooksby wrote:

We are all different. We are all individuals.

I'm not.

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crikey | 9 years ago
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Cycling has moved to become the new trainspotting I'm afraid. I'm not talking about the heroin addicted bleakly glamorous immortalised in print and film kind either, I mean the weak lemon drink and listing numbers in little books while wearing sensible anoraks and Hi-Vis clothing type....

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simon.thornton | 9 years ago
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It's commonly repeated that cycling is the new Golf.
But not a lot of people realise that skating is the new Polo.

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runskiprun replied to simon.thornton | 9 years ago
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sailing the new Passat? 21 4 4 4

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runskiprun replied to simon.thornton | 9 years ago
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sailing the new Passat? 21 4 4 4

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Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
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They're known as 'full pro kit wankers'. I play a game of 'orbit the FPKW' whenever I encounter them. It involves passing them, then usually getting some obnoxious comment as you pass them. Then slow down and let them pass ( usually another knob comment as they do). Then catch them, and pass really close. Then repeat until they bugger off / give up.

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sergius replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
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Judge dreadful wrote:

They're known as 'full pro kit wankers'. I play a game of 'orbit the FPKW' whenever I encounter them. It involves passing them, then usually getting some obnoxious comment as you pass them. Then slow down and let them pass ( usually another knob comment as they do). Then catch them, and pass really close. Then repeat until they bugger off / give up.

Interesting, in all of the many hundreds of people I've overtaken while riding, not once have I ever had anyone make an obnoxious comment. Are you sure you are doing it right?

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rjfrussell replied to sergius | 9 years ago
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Sorry. Rose to the troll's bait.
Deep breath and edited the post.

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fukawitribe replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
0 likes
Judge dreadful wrote:

They're known as 'full pro kit wankers'. I play a game of 'orbit the FPKW' whenever I encounter them. It involves passing them, then usually getting some obnoxious comment as you pass them. Then slow down and let them pass ( usually another knob comment as they do). Then catch them, and pass really close. Then repeat until they bugger off / give up.

Wow, just wow.... and you still call people 'wankers' who might, for whatever reason, be wearing some team kit without any sense of irony ?

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OnTheRopes replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
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Judge dreadful wrote:

They're known as 'full pro kit wankers'. I play a game of 'orbit the FPKW' whenever I encounter them. It involves passing them, then usually getting some obnoxious comment as you pass them. Then slow down and let them pass ( usually another knob comment as they do). Then catch them, and pass really close. Then repeat until they bugger off / give up.

Oh how superior that must make you feel! Get over yourself.
Perhaps you get a knob comment because you are behaving like a knob?

Whilst I would never wear full pro kit myself, I see nothing wrong in people wearing it if it makes them feel good. Not many are mistaken for real pro's. Quite a few kids wear pro kit to look like their heroes and if that encourages more people to get into cycling then all for the good.
You don't see this snobbish attitude to kids and people wearing football kit to emulate their hero even though the sight of some overweight dad down the pub in his Man Utd shirt looks kind of dumb to me.

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hsiaolc replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
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Judge dreadful wrote:

They're known as 'full pro kit wankers'. I play a game of 'orbit the FPKW' whenever I encounter them. It involves passing them, then usually getting some obnoxious comment as you pass them. Then slow down and let them pass ( usually another knob comment as they do). Then catch them, and pass really close. Then repeat until they bugger off / give up.

You have serious issues.

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atgni replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
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Judge dreadful wrote:

I play a game of .....Then catch them, and pass really close. Then repeat until they bugger off / give up.

Are you a part time bus driver too?

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daddyELVIS replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
0 likes
Judge dreadful wrote:

They're known as 'full pro kit wankers'. I play a game of 'orbit the FPKW' whenever I encounter them. It involves passing them, then usually getting some obnoxious comment as you pass them. Then slow down and let them pass ( usually another knob comment as they do). Then catch them, and pass really close. Then repeat until they bugger off / give up.

You are a prick!

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Judge dreadful replied to daddyELVIS | 9 years ago
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daddyELVIS wrote:

You are a prick!

Have I orbited you lately?

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daddyELVIS replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
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Judge dreadful wrote:
daddyELVIS wrote:

You are a prick!

Have I orbited you lately?

Haha, I doubt you'd catch me!

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evojm72 (not verified) replied to Judge dreadful | 9 years ago
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Judge dreadful wrote:

They're known as 'full pro kit wankers'. I play a game of 'orbit the FPKW' whenever I encounter them. It involves passing them, then usually getting some obnoxious comment as you pass them. Then slow down and let them pass ( usually another knob comment as they do). Then catch them, and pass really close. Then repeat until they bugger off / give up.

I'm getting the word...Bellend.

I think I'd likely un-clip and kick you off.

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