“Schrodinger’s bike bell”: Cyclists “can’t win” as Guardian writer asks for “just one ding from speeding cyclists” but others cite pedestrian conflict; Tour Brown Under: Lachlan Morton confesses “I sh*t myself three times” on Ride Around Australia + more

In the same week three cyclists in Adelaide were injured after hitting a wire trap strewn across a shared path, those very shared paths are now the centre of a raging online debate, with a column in Guardian Australia sharing (erm, no pun intended) a “petty gripe” with cyclists, or as they are described in the second paragraph: “wheeled threats” who can “spoil the serenity”.

What could possibly push someone to have such strong opinions about cyclists, you ask? Well, because according to the columnist, cyclists’ cardinal sin is not ringing bells when passing pedestrians on shared paths, turning “peaceful walkways into something more like racetracks”.

> Teenager charged with endangering life after wire strung across popular bike path, causing two serious crashes in “stupid, sinister, malicious” attack ahead of Tour Down Under pro races

Viv Smythe, the columnist, however, specifies that it’s not all cyclists — it’s only the “subset who fly past pedestrians as if the shared pathway is a velodrome”. She adds: “It’s especially alarming when a cycling group whoosh-whoosh-whooshes past with never a bell sounded beforehand, nor a slowing of speed. Now I appreciate that they are forced to pursue their hobby in a city that hates cyclists. And that many cyclists believe pedestrians will respond poorly if they sound their bell as they approach.

“But I appreciate even more those cyclists who demonstrably know that the space is not for their exclusive use and take shared pathway safety seriously (unlike the retiree cyclist who berated my retiree husband for walking on a ‘bike path’).”

She ends the column describing her “favourite” kind of cyclists — “As they approach and slow for overtaking, the lead rider loudly calls something like ‘bikes coming through, six of us’ so pedestrians are alerted, and then as the first rider comes through they say ‘five more behind’, the next rider says ‘four more behind’ and so on, until the final rider says ‘last one’. We’ve been passed by several groups doing this now, and you are all awesome,” she concludes.

> Government rejects calls for cyclists to be required to use a bell

However, not many cyclists online seemed to agree with this sentiment of ringing their bells while passing pedestrians. Lawrence Davies wrote on Bluesky: “My wife stopped ringing her bell on shared paths when a guy started screaming at her for using it. Apparently the bell means ‘you need to get out of the way’.”

My petty gripe: I just want one ding from speeding cyclists. How hard can it be?

[image or embed]

— Guardian Australia (@australia.theguardian.com) 16 January 2025 at 14:04

Another Bluesky user also seconded this opinion, saying: “Here's my experience: when I ring my bell on a shared path, I think I am saying, ‘I’m about to pass you.’ But what a significant percentage hear is ‘Get out of my way’, so they leap right into my path,” while one person wrote: “The people who write this need to go spend some time on a bike and experience how many people hear a bike bell and immediately jump into your path because they assume it means they're in the way and need to move.”

And then there was Lumberjack Wharfie (Bluesky username, of course), who replied: “Yeah buddy that’s nice and all until we get an article in the Guardian titled ‘My petty gripe: How dare you ding a bell at me?’”

So here’s my question to you, do you ring bells when passing pedestrians on a shared bike path, or do you rely more on your vocal chords to alert them that you’re coming through — or maybe you choose to do neither? Let us know in the comments what’s your usual go-to and why…

450km a day for a month, sweltering heat and headwinds, and dodging kangaroos and truck drivers… with poo running down your leg.

Sorry if I might make anyone uncomfortable during their afternoon tea and snacks (I certainly don’t have any appetite right now), but EF Education-EasyPost rider Lachlan Morton has confessed that he “sh*t” himself three times during his 14,210km long Ride Around Australia.

In what I think is a more tasteful video from a pro cycling team for a change, the team sat down its riders (erm, no pun intended) for a confessional — don’t ask my why — however, most riders came up with boring, vanilla confessions.

“I watched the Tour de France Femmes but not the Tour de France for men.”

“My record in a coffee shop is four cappuccinos and three cookies.”

“One time in a coffee shop, I had four cappuccinos and four cookies.”

“I do face and nose masks with my wife.”

Boooooring.

 

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A post shared by EF Education–EasyPost (@efprocycling)

And then there’s Lachlan Morton, who launches an explosive (no, really, it’s unintentional) confession straight out of the gate: “I’m Lachlan Morton. It’s been 18 years since my last confession. This year I sh*t myself three times on the ride around Australia.”

> “The truck driver actually tried to kill me”: Lachlan Morton forced to “bail off the side of the road” as lorry driver “kept going directly at me” and “didn’t move his truck one inch” during monster ‘Lap of Australia’ effort

To be fair, I’ll give it to Lukas Nerurkar, who manages to hold his own (okay last one, I promise): “I had six cappuccinos and six cookies and I sh*t myself four times.”

But perhaps the most relatable confession, at least for your live blog host, came from team manager Jonathan Vaughters:  “I’m JV and I’m a really truly sh*t bike mechanic. Changing a flat tyre during a training ride? I need other people to help me.”

Ouch, remind me never to do confessionals.

It’s a sad day for regulars of cycling Twitter and the community in general, as Helen, who you might know better as ‘CyclingInASkirt’, has reached the “end of treatment” for cancer.

A Sheffield resident, Helen was a regular of this very niche corner of social media. In September 2023, she announced that she was diagnosed with cervical cancer and would be starting daily chemo and radiotherapy for treatment.

Unfortunately, this morning, Michael, her husband shared the following message: “As some of you may know Helen’s last scan showed that the cancer has grown and is impacting kidney function. This means we have reached the end of the road for treatment and are focusing on keeping Helen comfortable.

“The boys and I are heartbroken but also surrounded by so much love and care, and St Lukes Hospice have just been off the scale brilliant every step of the way.

“Apologies for the blunt nature of this message. I’ve been dreading sending it and feel like I just need to put out the bare facts for now. Massive love to each and every one of you who have followed Helen’s journey, I know she has taken great strength from your support.”

Love and support to Helen from all of us at road.cc.

It’s not unknown to any cycling fan by this point that the once world-beating squad of Ineos Grenadiers has been some way off the top in the last few years, failing to win a Grand Tour since Egan Bernal took the pink jersey at the Giro d’Italia in 2021.

With one of the team’s stars Tom Pidcock leaving on not-so-amicable terms to join Q36.5 Pro Cycling last month, it only looks like things will get more difficult before they get better for the British team — and the team’s new personnel, with Scott Drawer in his second year as the Performance Director, along with Zak Dempster and Kurt Arvesen coming in as directeur sportifs to replace the outgoing Steve Cummings, are not afraid to accept that.

> "Dysfunctional clown show": Cycling fans react to Tom Pidcock's departure and accuse Ineos Grenadiers of "complete lack of ambition" and "monumental" decline

Speaking to Cyclingnews, Arvesen said: “We need to come back and win bike races, start to win stages. Every race counts. It might take one, two, three or four years before we’re back, winning a Grand Tour, but I'm convinced we’re going to be. 

“There are only three Grand Tours, there’s only only three winners, so it’s very difficult.”

But there’s still concern about team owner Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s commitment to funding the team — the British billionaire of course has another arguably more lucrative ‘sinking ship’ project to focus on in Manchester United with Portuguese manager Ruben Amorim at the helm.

Despite Ineos Grenadiers’ CEO John Allert confirming the team will exist until the 2028 UCI WorldTour and praising the owners for being “very passionate about this sport”, he confirmed the team was in fact, seeking out a second title sponsor.

“It’s fair to say that Ineos don’t want to spend more money,” Allert said. “So it depends entirely on what happens with this commercial activity. They very clearly do want us to be a super team and they know what it takes to be a super team. I'm not going to put a number on that, but it’s a number that's greater than what we're currently spending. 

“You don’t need to be that clued-up to realise there’s a reason why we’re trying to bring other people on that journey with us. There’s value to be created for other brands and we don’t necessarily feel we have to, need to, or want to, go it alone. 

“I’ve heard some bonkers rumours in the last couple of weeks about people buying us or investing in us or whatever else. 

“We certainly have a commercial strategy that is an evolution of our strategy. We’ve appointed an agency and we're looking at commercial partnership opportunities, like most other teams are. 

“It’s a very crowded market. We haven't signed anybody. I'm not aware of us imminently signing anybody.”

> “Team Circus continues”: Tom Pidcock dropped by Ineos due to risk of bonus payout claims Brian Smith, who says there’s “no fun in numbers-driven cycling anymore” as “gagged” Steve Cummings confirms exit

Drawer also spoke about the rapid pace at which the sport is changing, from the rise of Tadej Pogačar and other young riders to the growth of the big-budget super teams, and even new performance science such as the ability to ingest more carbohydrates during races and so race longer and harder. 

He said: “Some of the most critical things that have probably shaped why we’ve reshaped ourselves are based on the changes that have really happened in the sport.

“I think the trends in racing, particularly pre and post-COVID have changed the nature of the type of cyclists that are now in the peloton. So we've restructured ourselves and set ourselves up to get ahead of that slightly for this year and for the future. 

“Our motivation in our approach to racing is going to be very different, and then there will be a bigger investment in talent. 

“It’s probably one that we've got behind the curve on, but one that we're really accelerating to get ahead of the curveball. 

“You’ve heard some news, and there'll be a lot more news coming out around our importance in that space.”

The phenomenon of pro cycling teams and their obsession with making the most cringe-worthy, eye roll-deserving social media videos needs to be studied. Notable case studies can include Julian Alaphilippe channelling Celine Dion with bidons for microphone, and TBT-Unibet’s Eurotrash “bike reveal party”.

Now, Team SD Worx–Protime have submitted their entry to this lineage, with Marie Schreber, Julia Kopecky and Mischa Bredewold creating one of those “We are back baby” TikTok remixes with the M83 song Midnight City dubbed with audio from The Hangover.

 

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A post shared by Team SD Worx - Protime (@teamsdworxprotime)

> Bike maintenance brand apologises to Sir Chris Hoy and removes video linking cycling legend’s cancer diagnosis to rival chain lube after legal action threatened

One of the reasons I fell in love with cinema was the vivid, audacious, and surreal worlds conjured by the silver-haired filmmaker from Montana, completely reshaping how I viewed the art form. So when I saw the news of David Lynch’s death — after walking out of the cinema with a heavy heart thanks to the (really great) movie A Real Pain, no less — let’s just say your live blog host found it difficult to focus on the doughnut instead of the hole.

Lynch, who became a Hollywood legend with his boundary-pushing works like Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive, and the TV series Twin Peaks, passed away last night, aged 78, after being diagnosed with emphysema.

So to celebrate and remember the icon, truly one of the best to ever do it, here’s an image of Lynch riding a tandem with his high-school sweetheart.

(@TheFilmStage on Twitter)